It is nearly impossible to keep a ‘proper’ blogging schedule when your workspace is a literal cat highway. My keyboard is apparently the best place for Sushi to do his little dance whenever he wants attention. He always takes the most inconvenient route possible to get to the window behind my monitor. He insists on trekking right across my desk. Between the kitty roadblocks and the radio silence since my last post in April 2025, I’ve effectively blocked off being online. But looking back, I think I needed the detour.
Where I’ve Been
Beyond the chaos at my desk, the last ten months have felt heavy. It’s hard to find the words for the state of the U.S. lately; ‘crazy’ doesn’t even begin to cover the atrocious things we’ve been witnessing. It’s felt like every time I pick up my phone, I’m hit with another wave of systemic failure or a new level of cruelty that I’m not equipped to process while also trying to keep my own head above water. I went from feeling anxious to feeling completely paralyzed by the weight of it all.
I hit a wall where ‘what’s even the point?’ became my mantra, and the digital world felt like a direct threat to my peace. I did the only thing that felt safe and I shut it all down. I deleted my socials apps and retreated into a world I could actually control, consisting of my three cats, my shifts at Trader Joe’s, and the four walls of my home.
Putting In Work
During that period of retreating into my home, I realized I needed a way to rebuild my life on my own terms. I’m still working at Trader Joe’s, after three years with my store, but I have finally taken the plunge into a new professional chapter. I spent months studying for the notoriously difficult exam. I managed to get my insurance license on the very first try and I’m currently transitioning into brokerage. It’s a hassle balancing the grocery life with the broker life (and honestly a bit terrifying), but also deeply rewarding to see that hard work pays off.
To give myself a creative outlet that felt safe and fun, I started streaming video games on Twitch once or twice a week. But since the universe seems to have a wicked sense of humor, I’m now currently writing this all with a bulky brace. A strained wrist at work has me on medical leave, and I’m locked in a splint that runs from the tip of my thumb to halfway up my forearm. So, if this post feels like it was fought for… it literally was. One handed typing is becoming the ultimate test of my patience.
My Tiny Support Team
Through all of this, the cats have been my primary emotional support system. Sushi, Slippers, and Supra are registered ESAs and they have absolutely been putting in the work. When my mental health made it hard to even get out of bed for myself, the reality was simple: I had to feed the cats.
Even when I could not find the motivation to take care of my own needs, I always took care of theirs. They do not understand mental health beyond ‘Mom needs love’ and they deserve the best. I have been focusing on their enrichment as a way to thank them for being there for me. We have moved to slow-feeder bowls and more intentional floor time together. Believe it or not, we are even training them to use communication buttons. It’s a work in progress to see if they can actually talk to me, but it has been the exact kind of silly project I needed to keep me grounded.
Health Updates and Future Travels
One of the wildest updates since April is that my Celiac diagnosis was actually a misdiagnosis. While I’m thrilled to be eating real bread and ramen again, it’s annoying to be back at square one with my health. The silver lining is the education I gained during that time. I am an expert on cross-contamination now and even my partner has a much greater awareness as a server for people with allergies. Most importantly, this means I need to get back to Japan soon. Exploring the food there without the fear of hidden gluten is my new long-term goal.
I have also been much more serious about learning Japanese lately. I want to be conversationally fluent before my next trip, so I am not just relying on my translation apps. I’ve started playing a game called Wagotabi to help with that. It is a very immersive way to practice without actually having to live in Japan. It’s a fun way to keep my brain sharp while I’m stuck in this wrist brace.
Finding Joy in the Little Things (Literally)
One thing you wouldn’t know is that I have become a bit of a collector. My shelves are now overflowing with Lucky Emma and Skullpanda figures. There is something so satisfying about the hunt for a specific blind box and the little joys of unboxing a new series. It became a way to treat myself during the months when I was staying inside and keeping my circle small. I am already looking toward new additions for my collection. Hirono and Mofusand are next on my list.
Even with the wrist brace and the career stress, these little figures and my three chaotic cats keep me grounded. I am not sure what the next ten months will look like but I am glad to be back in this space. Thank you for sticking around while I figured out how to navigate the noise. I am still here and I am still building.
